Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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