my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
