Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
