When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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