Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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