if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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