So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
