I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I can't put those talents on a resume
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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