your room smells of hookers.
And success
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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