dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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