My first STD was from a foam party
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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