know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
