Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,

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(631): View more from New York

New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.

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(949): View more from California

she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."

(949): View more from California

little did she know i was taping her the whole time.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+54): View more from

My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed

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(406): View more from Montana

All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.

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(760): View more from California

MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...

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(701): View more from North Dakota

You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.

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