"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head