sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books