Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit