So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize