Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
