There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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