y did u give ur computer a hand job?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
