You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?