Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking

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  (732): I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking http://tfl.nu/678a
  Replies (14) Good night (680) Bad night (2139)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.

  (937): View more from Ohio

  He had some in his pocket. That was weird.

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  (937): Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon. (937): He had some in his pocket. That was weird. http://tfl.nu/q8lw
  Replies (27) Good night (954) Bad night (5088)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  Aren't you in 8th grade?

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  9th, but that's not the point.

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  (502): I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school.. (1-502): Aren't you in 8th grade? (502): 9th, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/te0g
  Replies (104) Good night (5645) Bad night (3687)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?

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  (847): as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning? http://tfl.nu/weqo
  Replies (22) Good night (10050) Bad night (1046)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.

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  (775): I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means. http://tfl.nu/woys
  Replies (9) Good night (3752) Bad night (841)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.

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  (302): I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays. http://tfl.nu/ol44
  Replies (7) Good night (2873) Bad night (1216)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.

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  (361): I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots. http://tfl.nu/podd
  Replies (8) Good night (2105) Bad night (921)
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  (518): View more from New York

  They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower

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  (518): They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower http://tfl.nu/ye9z
  Replies (10) Good night (3374) Bad night (876)
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  (530): View more from California

  He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"

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  (530): He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?" http://tfl.nu/zkkw
  Replies (6) Good night (1821) Bad night (2604)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.

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  (210): I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now. http://tfl.nu/26wy
  Replies (9) Good night (697) Bad night (1779)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers

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  (919): The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers http://tfl.nu/9d3q
  Replies (3) Good night (1015) Bad night (550)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.

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  (850): Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again. http://tfl.nu/pnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (1789) Bad night (780)
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  (916): View more from California

  Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b

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  (916): Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b http://tfl.nu/9ccv
  Replies (5) Good night (910) Bad night (410)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that

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  (303): Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that http://tfl.nu/7etq
  Replies (2) Good night (329) Bad night (206)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?

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  (501): Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site? http://tfl.nu/wzkj
  Replies (47) Good night (917) Bad night (350)

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