It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
