Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash. http://tfl.nu/od6g
  Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (3069)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked' http://tfl.nu/xvcv
  Replies (39) Good night (865) Bad night (6915)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): stuffed animals make me feel really maternal. http://tfl.nu/jnap
  Replies (3) Good night (1132) Bad night (2346)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above. http://tfl.nu/vdaw
  Replies (14) Good night (4733) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders. http://tfl.nu/udeu
  Replies (32) Good night (953) Bad night (6297)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip. http://tfl.nu/di6e
  Replies (10) Good night (3480) Bad night (1692)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good http://tfl.nu/4dfc
  Replies (17) Good night (3738) Bad night (1970)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar. http://tfl.nu/8pyq
  Replies (13) Good night (5188) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (498): View more from

  You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (498): You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/rks2
  Replies (7) Good night (3403) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick. http://tfl.nu/t3m9
  Replies (8) Good night (1453) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer. http://tfl.nu/flbo
  Replies (17) Good night (2565) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you http://tfl.nu/r2n8
  Replies (8) Good night (2643) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky. http://tfl.nu/g7xl
  Replies (1) Good night (830) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer http://tfl.nu/bezk
  Replies (1) Good night (746) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET http://tfl.nu/hmex
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (396)

Randomize