Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.