Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i wish peter jackson would direct porn

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(551): View more from New Jersey

I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas

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(636): View more from Missouri

That dog was the best thing i ever touched

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito

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(919): View more from North Carolina

336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.

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