That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize