brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?