My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual