That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?