I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
