I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
soo... how was my night?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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