This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize