she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
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The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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