so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
