Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
