I've blown a few things in my day
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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