i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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