dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
