he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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