More tranny stories later!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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