Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
