Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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