Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize