WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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