If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
