you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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