What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i believe in u and ur pee
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
