I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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