She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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