Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
They took my balls.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize