are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
