Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
