You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
