Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
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Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
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Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize