Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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