I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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