Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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