I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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