i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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