So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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