I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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