You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
