you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
