Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
