Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
