You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
420 ftw
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
