If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
