My nipple is on Facebook.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
