I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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